I feel like maybe I finally have this whole chronically sick thing figured out. And, finally, after being in pain for more than two years, I can focus on living the life I want to live. Like just maybe, this whole chronic pain thing isn’t going to win after all.
And then other days, like today, I wish I was dead.
Days when I wake up with an insane amount of pain in my ribs, and a migraine and I have to work because I’m genuinely afraid I’ll lose my job if I call in sick one more time.
Days when I hate my body so much, because it’s like a jail keeping me prisoner and holding me back from the life I once thought I was born to live. And days when I want to push myself, because that’s what I do, I push things, to the limits, and that’s how I have always lived my life.
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